Being Bisexual

I am 17.
I am Female.
I am English.

I am Bisexual.





These are ways of describing me yet one of them will be used against me when it just the same as the other labels I have listed. I am judged because of it; I am called a liar or a fake because of it; I am disgusting because of it.

I have been out of bisexual for just over a year now and have only really known for about 2. It was difficult to understand and make sense of the feelings I was having at the time, I knew I liked guys but I also had feelings for girls. I also went to a very judgy high school where anyone who was bisexual was massively judged, called a liar, greedy or that they just didn't want to come out as gay. So the feelings i had i bottled up as being nothing, just a faze after all i still liked guys.
However the certainly didn't make me happy, I wasn't unhappy because other people didn't except i was unhappy because i couldn't accept myself.
I finally started to accept my feelings when i moved to my sixth form college. I finally could be whoever I wanted to be without being judged. I was free.

Being open about who I am doesn't always help though. Many people say that coming out was the best thing they ever did and in some respects it is but there are some many times I have doubts about if me coming out was a good idea; I question my decision and if I am actually bisexual.

Luckily all the people I have come out to have taken it very well, I have lost no one in the process and it confirms to me that the people i have surrounded myself with are the best people to be surrounded by. However there is one lot of people I have yet to come out too and 2 in particular; my parents and family.

I know my parents will be fine with it but I cannot bring myself to tell them. I know they will love me no matter what but I am so scared at the idea of telling them. I have no idea why I am so worried. There has been so many times I have wanted to tell them even to the point where i started the conversation but I still cant do it. Maybe i'll be a wimp and just send them a link to this blog post... (actually that not such a bad idea)

Being bisexual is a good thing. I love it. People know it is also great and I will never be ashamed of who I am, and who I was born as.
If, no not if when people judge me for it I will tell them that there opinion means nothing to me because I once hated myself for it and they will never make me feel like that with their hateful words.

Also if you are some religious nut who thinks that being bisexual is bad because it goes against the bible, I have something to tell you, the book in the bible that is taken as the reason that being gay is wrong (Leviticus 18:22), unless you tell me you don't eat vegetables grown in field where other seeds are planted or that you don't wear clothes of mixed materials and many other stupid things stated by that fool Leviticus you cannot tell me that being gay (or in my case bisexual).

Bi-phobia is a real and upsetting thing and its just as horrible as homophobia yet it feels less recognised. People who are bisexual are often view to have what is termed "bi-privileges", but really being criticised for these so called privileges is just another way of attacking people because of their sexuality meaning I not only get attacked by homophobic people but also by specifically bi-phobic people.

Being bisexual is just another way of describing who I am but it is not my only feature and there is much more to me.

This is just another part of the complex that is me

Laters Alligators
Pineapple xx

Drunken Antics

Seeing as Watermelon has disappeared to Scarborough for the weekend for the sole purpose of drinking till she destroys her liver I have decided that today's blog post the 10 of the most stupid things myself and watermelon have done whilst under the influence of alcohol.

1.Become possessive of a stick and proceed to attack anyone who tried to take the stick away
2.Cry about not being able to eat pepperoni pizza because my (sort of) boyfriend was vegetarian and then I wouldn't be able to kiss him
3.Make a disgusting punch from left over shit mixes and throw on the floor because "the floor also needed a drink"
4.Throw up all over the bathroom floor, remove all clothes and getting into our friend's sisters bed (the only room in the house we were banned from)
5.Running down the road to hunt for a taxi that had not yet arrived and shouting taxi (it was the very early morning so not sure the neighbors were too happy)
6.Getting ridiculously drunk at a family gathering and following an unknown male to have a wee at the side of the road on the return journey losing shoe in the process
7.Being the cause of one of your oldest friends cheating on their significant other by kissing them repeatedly
8.Testing sexuality on a random male in a club whose name you never even found out
9.Go to ex-boyfriends party. Get really angry at friend who is trying to get on it with ex. Proceed to try and seduce ex-boyfriend even though he insists its a bad idea. Scream at friend "he's not yours he's mine". (at least one my other friends stopped me from sleeping with him...)
10.Sleep with female friend. Come out as bisexual. Becomes one of the reason that female friend is now no longer a friend

So there you have it 10 of the most stupid ridiculous things that me and watermelon have done whilst drunk. I can definitely say I am the furthest thing from proud of the things that I have done that are on this list and I am certain that's also how Watermelon feels.

However these seem to not be a deterrent when present with a new opportunity to get shit faced as well always get completely off our heads if we can. Maybe that's why there are many more incidents that could have been added to this list but alas I decided to only list 10 (10 is such a nice number).

How many of you guys reading have crazy drunken stories you can tell
Maybe leave a comment of yours?

Laters alligators
Pineapple (and Watermelon kinda) xx

Real Life Romance

I'm sure we have all read story's where 2 people who are best friends realise that they are actually madly in love with each other and start a relationship. However in real life falling in love with your best friend is never that simple.

So I fell for my best friend and it was just like in the story's.
Other people see it and you constantly deny it saying you just don't see them that way and then suddenly like a tonne of bricks falling on your head you know that those people were right all along and that you do have feelings for them. You then go through a faze where you try and convince yourself that you are wrong or try and stop having feelings for them by saying to yourself that they would never return those feelings. Finally after going over and over and over these things in your head you realise that they are your best friend and you have to tell them how you feel (in may case a substantial amount of alcohol helped in the telling part). That's when you find out that they feel the same and didn't want to say anything for the same reasons you didn't and you laugh or cry or just make out for quite a while or if you're really overcome by the moment engage in all three of those activities.

I guess this all sounds fabulous and just like love stories however what love stories don't take into account is that when the main characters confess their feelings for each other, is the possibility that a relationship between these 2 people just cannot work.
Now some my see this view as cynical or that I'm not putting enough faith in love but I truly believe the decision that we made was, in the end, the only decision that meant we would remain best friends. We together agreed that us being in a relationship was just not going to work. The reason behind this is one if we had a bad break up we could destroy our friendship group and I value my friends more than anything else in the world but mainly it would destroy us. I wasn't willing to lose what I had for sex; as essentially that was all I gained.

Now don't misunderstand me, the chose I made was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, I mean its one thing for someone else to ripe your heart from your chest its a totally different thing to do it to yourself but I knew it was for the best.

Can you see the one thing that love stories don't take into account? The definite consequences of being in a relationship with your best friend as a teenager, the chances are that relationship wont last and if it doesn't you will (most likely) never go back to the way you were before.

SO we were not harry and sally (not only because neither of us orgasmed in a cafe) but because we didn't end up together, and I am happy, I did not turn into a depressed mess but continued with my life as I had knowing I would always have that person I loved by my side if I needed them never having to worry that a break up may ruin that.

However all that being said I don't think our love for each other will be purely platonic, I mean it didn't just happen like "I love you" "I love you too" "This is never going to work" the end. Certainly I do still get the urge to jump their bones, I am human after all. So maybe our love story hasn't reached its final chapter yet but I certainly think it has but any other ending would never have been happy

From the ever alone
Pineapple xx

Letter

So today I did what I promised myself I would not be doing this summer and lay in bed all day watching YouTube videos.
However I am glad I did because one of those videos gave me the inspiration to write this blog post so rather than talking about my life to the internet I am going to direct this blog post to someone who is probably never going to see it but hey who cares maybe they will

So if you are like me a massive danisnotonfire fan then you may have guessed that it was his video that inspired me (it literally made my day that he actually unloaded something thank you god ie Dan) if however you have no idea who the hell I am talking about (seriously if you don't have you been living in a hole or do you just not internet??). Anyway if you have not see the video here is a link and go and watch and understand what the hell I am talking about (I'm the link)

There was specific part of Dan's video that struck a cord with me and that was about standing up for yourself. So I now take pride in the fact that I call people out on their shit and don't let people walk all over me but there was a time when that wasn't the case. This was when I was a little innocent (well maybe not innocent but definitely naive) year 7 and I didn't know how to do this or just never had needed to before.

So this is a letter to my ex-best friend Nuala Armstrong and yes maybe I shouldn't put her full name on the internet but if she sees it I want there to be no doubt in her mind its about her; its everything I wish I had said to her but never did (Finally I get to have my Janis Ian moment where I shout at Regina George its fucking brilliant.)

Dear Nuala

You are a horrible human being. What you did to me was one of the worst things anyone could do to a person. You were supposed to be my best friend but instead you decided to crush me.

Do you know how long it has taken me to get over the repercussion of you completely ditching me? 6 years. 6 YEARS. You obviously have no idea of how it affected me and probably think that I just got over it but surprisingly that's not how it worked out. It has taken me years of counselling to deal with the anger issues you caused within me. I also have serious trust issues and find it really difficult to be close with people.

You know what the worst part about this is that until about a year ago I didn't even blame you, I blamed myself, you made me feel like everything that happened was my fault because I wasn't good enough to deserve a friend like you.

But do you know what I realised its not me who doesn't deserve you its you that never deserved me. You opinion of me  is so insignificant in the grand scheme of life and I wish I had realised this sooner because it would have saved me a huge deal of pain but it literally means less than nothing. Being popular in high school will never help when your not in high school. Being queen bee counts for nothing when you leave with shitty grades, hate to break it to you love but in the real world no on cares that people liked you at high school all they will care about is the fact you failed maths...

But you know what Nuala I am actually grateful for what you did. Yes it was difficult to get over the horrible issues caused by your bitchiness but you gave me something that I would never have gained without it. If I had never seen what a shitty person you are I may have ended up like you and god the idea of being anything like you is horrifying.

Really what I want to say is thank you for being the one of the nastiest humans I have ever come across because you showed me how not to live my life. Also I was not obsessed with you, I think maybe you were a little obsessed with yourself to think that.

So in the words of  Janis SUCK ON THAT

Lots of love and kisses
Pineapple xxx

Night out

Okay okay I'll post something!
Well after a pretty disappointing start to yesterday when pineapple couldn't stay out with us, it actually turned into a pretty good night.  We started of in fonts (the place with no bouncers) where I decided to try as many of the weirdest £2 cocktails as possible which was possibly not the best idea ever. 

After that we went to Satan's Hollow which after reading the reviews on Google I was going into with absolutely no expectations at all,  but actually ended up proving me wrong.  The music was good if you're looking for something a bit more alternative,  and the drinks were cheap,  although it seemed to be a bit  hit or miss whether you actually ended up with what you ordered over the music. Best of all the much warned against female toilets turned out to be perfectly fine and remained stocked with toilet paper the whole night!

At 3 Satan's closed so we went over to the next bar called AXM,  where we didn't actually end up staying for that long,  mainly because I'm terrible when I'm drunk And our friend had to drag me away before I did anything I would regret the next morning...

We got home at about 4 where I realised that I'd misplaced my keys and we had to ring inside,  to wake up my somewhat unimpressed mother to let us in.  Apart from that though,  we had fun, although we're counting down the days till pineapple can join us! (only 22 to go now)

Lots of love
Watermelon xx

The perils of being an august baby

I originally thought that being born in august was great. Birthday in the summer, always in the holidays so no school, usually hot/good weather and not near Christmas so good spacing for presents.

However, I have now discovered that being an august baby is actually complete shit. It's shit because I'm the baby meaning I'm the last to turn 18.

So right now as my friends go off the various clubs to drink until they no longer remember their names (or in watermelon's case starts biting people) I am sat on train returning home with a fully bottle of vodka (which i may drown my sorrows in or just drown myself in) hoping my dad has put the key by the cat flap so I can get in.

Yes I know underage drinking is bad and I'll ruin my liver and die blah blah blah. But my birthday is in literally 23 days. Of course that doesn't matter because I am still a minor (what I just got referred to as at a certain bar who might I say drink's are really ridiculously expensive even they do have candy floss cocktails).

People may ask why I want to get drunk tonight so badly, and its simply because it makes the night more fun; stops you worrying about stupid things like that you might catch an STD from the disgusting toilet and actually that guy looks nothing like Johnny Depp even if he turns that way. It also stops me from thinking of the consequences and that maybe telling someone you like is not a good idea in the cold light of day (not quite sure how good that actually is). But mainly I just want to be doing it with my friends; I want to enjoy the last summer with all of them together (drunk preferably)

People also may ask what the hell was the point of even trying if I knew I was underage and knew I had no ID? BECAUSE FUCKING COURTYARD NEVER HAS BOUNCERS AND LITERALLY ONLY UNDER 18'S PUT UP WITH THEIR SHIT! And guess what tonight the only night I have ever attempted this it has bouncers on the door. The one night I attempt to get in it has bouncers… its a bloody Tuesday for godsake. Then we decide lets go to revolution I may not be able to drink in there but we could by a bottle of vodka and swig it in the toilets #classyaf but no minors allowed in the bar after 7 -_-. This was when I realised the universe seemed to be sending me a message and it was probably the best for everyone if I just went home. Sigh.

And now to top off an already wonderful evening, Watermelon (who is 18) is texting me telling me where they ended up has no bouncers and they're not even IDing at the bar… marvellous, wonderful, just fucking fabulous darlingz. The universe really had it in for me tonight!

So I guess the moral to this story is don't drink if you're underaged kids or get fake ID or just drink at house parties whatever works for you

From a very pissed off and very sober Pineapple xx

(If Watermelon gets drunk enough she may post or I'll just get drunk messages from her… if I do I'll post them for you the beautiful internet to see )

NEXUS PHOTOS TAKE 2

So its is official I have no idea what I am doing and decided to delete the original picture post in attempt to make them fit (hopefully this time they will)

Okay so here are some photos of Nexus, they don't show it completely so there will be a surprise when you go (and you should go) oh and go in the toilets(youll understand once you see it)

Pineapple xx

Post no.2

Post no.2

Greatings Internet
Today is 7th july and me and watermelon are in our favourite cafe of all time nexus.

Nexus is a non-profit cafe to support local artists in the manchester area so if you are in the area i highly recomend it. Not only is the food really good but its a bit off thr beaten track so good if people annoy the shit out of you like for watermelon and I.

Its a cafe in the northern quarter and if you dont know manchester that will mean nothing to you but is basically the only area of town where there are interesting shops and stuff like that. Basically if you like sweet potato frys youll like the resturants in the northern quarter.

Another really great place that we love in the northern quarter is vrevolution (may have spelt that wrong) which is a vegan resturant and is literally some of the best burgers in town and thats coming from one of the biggest meat eaters ever. So if youre even in manchester give them a look in (one tip do not think you are eating meat or you may be disappointed because its not meat).

Watermelon is being a spoon and refusing to write anything on the blog because quote "she cant write" which is ridiculous reason, so im think the only option is get her drunk and convince her its a good idea (muhahaha)

May post some pictutes of nexus later if my stupid phone cooperates

See ya later aligators (cringe)

Pineapple xx

The beginning of the blog

Blog Post No.1

Okay so today is Monday 6th July 2015 and the official creation day of this blog.
As of today we have 0 followers/viewers/anythings which is of course fabulous.

I am Pineapple and Watermelon is a fool who is doing nothing and together we have scrapped the little knowledge (and when I say little I mean non-existent) of the Internet and created this.

As you can see with your eyes in your head it looks complete shit and I have no idea of how to make it look better so yeh its just gonna look like shit.

What we are actually going to write on our blog is a mystery even to ourselves but to try and give some meaning to our summer, instead of laying in bed watching as many YouTube videos as humanly possible (however the chances are we will still do that), we say write about our lives on the internet (what an original idea)

I cannot say if what we will write will be fascinating in fact I can guarantee we are downright boring but sometimes the drama that seems to follow us like a plague may entertain you, who knows?

So hopefully this will turn into something good not something forgotten tomorrow and maybe we might get one view...

Pineapple xx