Stay sassy

So we disappeared for a month...
I apologise for that but it was an attempt to force watermelon to post but ended up becoming a month long hiatus where life took over.
It gave me a chance to gather my thoughts and start to plan how this blog is going to work and make me really think about my content rather than simply think at 11:50 at night shit what the hell am I going to write and allow my half asleep rambles take over.
So now I have a plan of topics i'm going to write in my iPhone so that if I ever have writers block there is a backup (see professional blogger stuff)

Anyway with that said lets get down to business; Sassy forever.

So the title may seem completely unrelated to what i'm going to write but hopefully by the end you'll understand what i'm trying to say.

2 weeks ago I downloaded tinder...
Why did I do that I now ask myself but I did and on tinder I met a guy called Josh (yes his really name as if you've read my letter you'll know how much i disregard peoples privacy)
So after a couple of hours of swiping left for hundreds of guys (I can be very picky) I came across Josh and something about him (his eyebrows) really struck me so I swiped right. If you have never used the wonders of tinder or just have no ideas how it works basically you swipe right for people you like and left for people you don't. Simples.
Anyway we matched and almost instantly he messaged me. After some really insistence from some of my stupid friends (*cough*hill*cough*) I messaged him back. He was great we shared so many similarities and I felt like I could really be myself with him which was great because sometimes really cant deal with my sassiness.
We met up and talked non-stop for 6/7 hours and I really liked him.
Unfortunately I then went on holiday and was pretty sure things between us would dry up. But they didn't! If anything they got more intense. I was messaging him all the time and he was messaging me just as much (I don't send messages to people who wont message me back...)
It was super great and I was looking forward to coming home so we could meet up again and see where things went. Obviously I liked this guy and from what he was saying to me I thought he liked me too.
Then I got back and he basically completely stopped messaging me. Out of nowhere just nothing. I asked him what was wrong and he said nothing, which was obviously complete bullshit. It went from talking more or less non stop for 2 weeks to nothing.
To say it hurt was and understatement. I spent a whole day almost in tears over a guy I had met once. I lost myself to this guy, who now I know was a dick but a dick I had feelings for.

I became one of those girls I hate, sitting around waiting around for his messages as if they were what I needed to feel validated and when they didn't come it was killing me. I had lost all my confidence it seemed like on basically a fantasy.
I lost my sassiness. SO I now understand how people lose themselves when they like people. But I also realised how much you can loose yourself in the fantasy of someone.

So the reason I hate tinder now is not because how it uses people really but how it sets people up for failure. It gives you this online relationship which is always going to be better than anything in real life because its all imagined.
I fell hard for this guy because he was my perfect guy because most of him was in my imagination. So if anything I super thankful he stopped talking to me because it allowed me to realise how much I was becoming detrimental to myself.

But not only am I back here on the blog, I back in real life as well

See you later Alligator
Pineapple xx

(p.s. Listen to throne by bring me the horizon its fucking epic)